Day 3 of the SAR, we concentrated on homosexuality, with a very brief foray into bisexuality. Day 4 was a discussion of the physical body, including some sensate focus-type exercises.
I really loved the panel of lesbians, although the panel of gay men was interesting for their personal stories. The lesbian panelists were engaging and witty, and talked a lot more about their multiple interests and facets of their identity. All panels got a lot of questions, and we also watched some videos, most of which were pretty old school.
I got into an interesting conversation with my friend Robert about how SF is steeped in queer culture so much that queer history and ideals and beliefs are part of SF history and ideals and beliefs; they’re unseparatable concepts. Everyone here grows up surrounded by knowledge about the AIDS crisis and Harvey Milk that people in other places have to seek out. It’s unique, and makes me jealous, honestly. I wish I had grown up in that atmosphere, only without having to live in the Bay Area.
We also watched the Fuckarama, a multiscreen pornography experience that can only be described as headache-inducing. It’s designed to desensitize viewers to sexual images, although the vast majority of images shown were a) pretty tame and b) full of cocks. There was an awful lot of penis in these clips, and a lot of focus on ejaculation as the terminus of sexual experience. Interesting stuff, despite all the blinking lights.
Day 4 (today) was mostly about the physical body: bodywork, touch, STDs. We discussed barrier methods, had a presentation about sexological bodywork, and engaged in some group touch exercises. At first, I felt unsure about whether or not I wanted to be touched by anyone. While everyone is nice, I’m not super comfortable with being touched intimately (by which I mean “as though the person is intimate with me”, and not specifically sexually — this includes cuddling, hand holding, etc) by people I don’t know well, unless we just have that kind of relationship. My bestie Marcus and I startled cuddling each other almost the first day we met: it just felt OK. But strangers? Nope. Especially when the SAR is likely the only thing we really have in common.
The touching exercises felt pretty safe though, and I was fine to do them. Not particularly challenging, in that they weren’t pushing my buttons or anything. So far the only things that push my buttons are the occasional casual references to unfortunate mindsets…or this absolutely dreadful image, which is hanging with a set of “vintage erotic art” in the front IASHS hallway:
I find it difficult to believe the organization really cares about making attendees feel completely safe if they openly display such an offensive piece of art. It’s not the sexual aspect of it that’s offensive: it’s the outright racism. Yikes.
Claire Litton, Sexologist & Coach 